A Visit to WyrdCon

A few days ago I receive a slightly surreal call... there was going to be a panel on "ePublishing - Not For The Faint of Heart!" at Wyrd Con, and somebody had dropped out, and could I fill in at short notice... well, I've never done a panel at a convention before, and I was free on Sunday (today), so I said yes. It sounded like it might be fun...

For those who haven't heard of it, Wyrd Con is a storytelling convention for designers, writers, creators, producers, directors, technologists, inventors and explorers to experience a wide variety of narrative formats in a short period of time. Attendees of Wyrd Con gain an opportunity to improve their craft through education and experience while getting exposed to new methods of storytelling. It sounded like something I would enjoy, and besides, Jim Butcher - author of 15 Dresden Files novels - was going to be thre somewhere.

So, getting up way too early on a Sunday morning, my wife and I headed down to the Westin LAX Hotel, where the con was being held, and met up with Robert Seutter, aka True Thomas, and Angela Hunt of the Hunt Press for a coffee and briefing prior to our 9:00 AM start wit the panel.

I have to say that I enjoyed it as much as I thought I might. Robert and Angela were a joy to work with, and we had a decent audience who seemed genuinely interested in what we had to say.We talked about formatting for ebooks, marketing, the problems with the publishing industry, and why you might want to go to a publisher rather than self-publish, when the latter seems so easy to do these days. The panel ended, and Robert told us he had to dash to another panel with Todd McAffrey (who took over the Pern series of fantasy novels after his mother Ann's death) and Jim Butcher. Robert said if we had time to attend the panel, he would introduce us to Jim. As a huge fan of the Dresden Files novels, how could I say no?

So we sat through a very entertaining panel, where Jim, Todd and Robert waxed lyrical on the art of storytelling. True to his word, after the panel was over, Robert called Angela and I over, and introduced us to Jim Butcher. I have to say that in addition to being a fine author, Jim is a great human being, and I deeply regretted not bringing one of his books with me "just in case"... as it was, I got to shake his hand and tell him how much I enjoyed his writing. We were invited to join them for lunch, but declined, as I had to get back to attend to coven business. I've met a few celebrities over the years, and I think  - with the possible exception of Leonard Nimoy - this was the most star-struck I've ever been.

Todd McAffrey, Jim Butcher and Robert Seutter

In case anyone is interested, I recorded our ePublishing panel in audio format, and we also video-ed part of it, but the battery didn't last for the whole two hours.

ePublishing Panel Audio File (MP3)

The first hour on YouTube video

Predators and Pagans

Today’s news that Kenny Klein, Pagan musician and teacher, was arrested on suspicion of child pornography, raises an important issue that too many in the Pagan community seem to prefer to ignore, the existence of predators in our community.

Now, I’m not going to discuss, for the most part, whatever crimes were allegedly committed by Klein, but rather I want to focus on the bigger issue, which is the community’s response to things like this. We often hear stories of a pedophile being caught, or a sexual predator preying on susceptible victims at Pagan events, or of people leaving a coven because of the predatory actions of one or more of the coven’s leaders. Often the knee-jerk reaction is to say “obviously this person isn’t a real Pagan, or they’d never do these things”. Unfortunately this is, at best ignorant, and in fact it does much damage to the credibility of the community as a whole.

Worse is when the community, or the leadership of the portion of it most affected, turns a blind eye to the whole thing, or even worse still, when they defend the predator. I understand the fear involved – exposing the act invariably rebounds on the community as a whole, and the fundamentalist Christians have a field day, attacking us all and painting us all with the same brush. But ignoring or covering up these problems plays into their hands even more, because it looks like we condone those acts, accept them. It makes preying on the weaker members of our community look like normal Pagan behavior.

So I have a simple suggestion to make – let’s stop doing that. Let’s stop enabling the predators because of our own fear. Klein’s arrest is going to make him the poster-boy for fundamentalist attacks on the “evil Witches and Pagans”, because this time there is no hiding behind the “no true Pagan” defense. He is a highly visible Pagan, active in festivals and conferences, a popular musician, an elder of his tradition (Blue Star Wicca). Any time a predator is convicted or confesses, we need to find the courage to stand up and say “yes, they are a Pagan, and what they have done is wrong, and we condemn their actions and those of all others who betray the trust placed in them.” We cannot stick our heads in the sand, like the Catholic Church did for so many years with the pedophile priests. We need to deal with the pedophiles, the creepy folk who go to Pagan gatherings looking to get laid by forcing themselves on someone caught up in the magic, or a little too tipsy. We need to deal with coven leaders who demand sexual favors of students, while being careful not to get too puritanical on those traditions that use consensual sex as part of their craft.

Above all, we need to, for once, show a united front to the world, one that says that we will not tolerate this behavior in our ranks, that we will not tolerate those who condone, defend, or by their inaction, enable this behavior. Predators are found in all walks of life, so we need to stress that this is not acceptable in Paganism, but at the same time, we must not use the old feeble excuse of “he wasn't a real Pagan”. We have to own our failures as well as our successes.

I don’t know for sure whether Klein has actually done anything wrong – the article about his arrest stated that 25 explicit photos were found on his computer, and he admitted ownership, that he downloaded them and also distributed them to others. But at this point, he has not been charged, and certainly hasn't been convicted. To be honest, it is less today’s arrest that sparked my little rant here, but the comments I've been seeing online from people who say he’s been doing this for 20 plus years, while teaching  workshops for children and mixing with families. Some of those comments are from people who claim it happened to them. If the alleged actions are backed up by evidence, why have community leaders allowed continued access to children for so long?

In the past, I've heard stories of people who have been vilified in the community for exposing pedophiles. Now I realize that there is a fine line between making assumptions and having reasonable certainty, but when there is evidence, we should not shoot the messenger, and even when there isn't, it still bears at least taking a look. Somebody can be mistaken, over-cautious or over sensitive, but if they are sincerely concerned, the leaders of their group should look into the accusations as fairly as possible, and where there is evidence, there should be action. Instead we get people being ostracized and punished for “exposing the group to public scrutiny”… the same excuses the Catholic Church gave for moving pedophile priests to a different parish.

Ultimately, we are always going to be under attack from fundamentalist Christianity – nothing will change that. If in fear of providing them with ammunition, we try to hide the acts of these predators, we not only end up giving them more and better ammunition, but we are allowing our own community to become the victims of pedophiles, bullies, extortionists, frauds and rapists. Already the damage done by this is evident; the large number of seekers who shy away from covens and formal training because they've been burnt by a predator. When we fail to deal with predators, to remove them from our ranks and bring them to the attention of the authorities, we become their accessories, their enablers, and we become in part responsible for their actions, and that carries a heavy coin.

So if you are the victim of a predator, bring it to the attention of a leader and/or the authorities. If you are a leader, then do not turn away from those who claim they are victims – lead, and do what is necessary. We must be careful not to jump to conclusions, but must evaluate the situation, and decide if action is needed. Above all, we must not delude ourselves that if we ignore it, it will go away.

The Positive Power of Negativity

When practicing any “flavor” of magick, it is easy to get caught up in what you are doing, and not notice the ripples of effect it has – that you have – on others around you. I suppose that is true of all sincere spiritual practice.

I used to think that my spirituality was undertaken in isolation, that nothing I did mattered to anyone else. Whether it was my ritual, my crafting, my writing, teaching, or even my podcast, I was convinced that while it had meaning and significance for me, it didn't make one whit of difference to anyone else. But when I was sick in hospital, my friends – and Facebook – made it clear to me that something I was doing was apparently resonating with a bunch of people, as healing, well-wishing and comments about how I had affected peoples’ lives came in from around the world. It moved me, and my spiritual work in all arenas has been greatly influenced since then by an awareness of the effect it can have, those ripples, spreading out and touching other lives.

I have always considered myself to be a very straightforward person – my motivation has always been, I though, pretty evident. In my own mind’s eye, I have always been exactly what I appear to be. I am, I think, passionate about exploring my Craft, and sharing the results. I have a driving need to teach, and, while I find myself in a leadership position because of the students I teach, and the books, DVDs, workshops and the podcast, I have no real desire to lead… it just sort of happened, almost in spite of myself.

But lately I’ve started to try to see myself through the eyes of others, because I think that I might learn something about myself. That isn't hard when listening to friends – the other day a good friend told me how remarkably talented I was at taking deep and complex subjects and teaching them in a user-friendly and understandable way, which was very easy to hear, despite my typically British embarrassment at hearing myself being complimented.

It isn't so easy to listen to the opinions of one’s detractors, however, though that is likely to be the more useful exercise. Ignoring the claims about me that are manifestly ridiculous, or projection from those who do what they accuse me of, how I am seen by those who do not hold me in high esteem can actually tell me things about myself that can help me be a better me… or at least, I think it can.

For example, I've heard that I am pompous and opinionated. Now I have no doubt that I am opinionated, but I've never thought of myself as pompous. I do know that the British accent I speak with can sound pompous to some, and I know that when I am on a roll, I can get very loquacious, which can make it difficult for others to get a word in edgewise. So I can sort of understand that one. But there are plenty of other faults that my detractors are keen to point out, that I find harder to understand.

It has been said that I am a Machiavellian schemer, power-hungry, and manipulative. These are the things that I find hardest to understand, and the most painful things that I hear about myself. As I stated earlier, I truly believe that my motivations are simply to learn and share. Some of this, considering the main source, may be  projection, but I've heard it from people who have never met me. No doubt, they were influenced by who consider me “the enemy” (pretty much the entire Pagan community of Salt Lake City, UT, apparently hates me, though less than a handful have ever met me), and that is something that I find puzzling – I try not to form an opinion on someone based solely on the opinions of others, myself – but it happens a lot in the Pagan community, unfortunately.

Ultimately, I find exploring these negative reactions quite useful, because it both spurs me on to be better than before, and it keeps me humble. On the one hand, everyone says that if you aren’t annoying somebody, then you are not “doing it right”, but on the other hand, it isn’t like I’m trying to preach the one true way. I love to share what I’ve learnt, but I am fine with people having different ideas, disagreeing with me, or whatever. As long as I can make them think, make them feel, make them as passionate about their art as I am, then it is all good. What is a little badmouthing compared to that?

Saying Farewell to Rev Hyperion

Yesterday was a bittersweet day for me.

Last week we were shocked to hear that Eddy Gutierrez (also known as Rev Hyperion and Dr. E) had passed away after a massive heart attack. Yesterday was his funeral, and Linda and I drove down to attend.

I first met Eddy at PantheaCon, around five years ago. We had communicated via email and social media, brought together by our podcasts, but had never been face to face. His first words to me were “Chris Penczak is looking for you”, and for a moment, I thought that I had somehow caused offense and was now in trouble. It turned out that Chris just liked my work, and wanted to meet me. But those words were the beginning of a friendship that largely involved an annual beer at PantheaCon, and occasional visits here in Los Angeles, but a friendship that somehow became curiously close, despite the rarity of our actually getting together. I think that this was just who Eddy was – he developed these strong connections with people, and connected people with each other.

Never was this friendship more evident than on two occasions. The first was when I was looking for someone to help demonstrate guising techniques for the DVD I was filming, “Making and Using Ritual Masks”. Eddy and his then partner came up from san Diego to spend the day cavorting around our temple in various leather masks, demonstrating trance and ecstatic techniques that could be amplified by the use of properly prepared masks.

As a thank-you, I gave Eddy one of the masks I had made for the DVD, a stylized stag skull mask, which can be seen on the new cover for that DVD.

The other occasion was a little over a year ago, in September 2012. I had just had a massive heart-attack of my own, dying and being resuscitated several times on the way to the hospital. The doctors used an experimental technique, called Artic Sun, to freeze my body to preserve my brain function, while people around the world rallied to assist me with healing circles, prayers, and good vibes. It worked – after only seven days in hospital, I headed home, to be met by Eddy and the love of his life, Clayton, at our home. They spent a few hours with us, and Eddy gave me a healing Mojo bag he had prepared for me, along with a special oil to feed it.

Until I had my heart attack, I was largely unaware of the reach my podcasts, books and DVDs had – it never occurred to me that anything I was doing might make a difference, or even had an audience. I did it because I needed to. But lying in that hospital bed, I becan to hear stories about what was going on… how my condition made the Pagan headlines with an article on The Wild Hunt, and how people as far afield as Janet Farrar and Gavin Bone in England, Sufi groups in Africa, and even Christian churches in the Midwest were praying for me, working rituals, or crafting healing spells, each in their own way. The realization that people I never met cared for me hit like a ton of bricks, and I remember sobbing in gratitude and awe that people would feel that way about me. Standing there at my doorstep when I arrived home that day, Eddy became for me the face of all that support.

So when we heard the call for healing for Eddy, we did not hesitate, and I’m proud to say that I witnessed the Pagan community leaping into action once again. Sadly, for Eddy the time had come, and later that afternoon we heard that he had passed away.

And so, yesterday, Linda and I – dressed in the lightest clothes we possess (Lacumi funerals do not allow black or dark colors to be worn by attendees) – hit the road to see our friend off for the last time. We allowed for typical Los Angeles traffic that never materialized, so we arrived early, which gave us the opportunity to connect with Tommie Starchild, David Shorey, and some of the brethren of the Unnamed Path, the tradition started by Eddy for men who love men. The service was beautiful, with many memories invoked of this lovely man and the changes he wrought in people’s lives. His mother and sister were gracious beyond belief, making sure to greet every person with a hand held and an inquiry on how they were holding up. Eddy’s aunt sang an emotion-filled rendition of the Lord’s Prayer, several of the brethren spoke of Eddy, and Clayton did too. A moving video tribute to Eddy was played, then it was time to move from the funeral home to the grave-side.

It is only fitting that Eddy’s last ride through town was an adventure. We had quite a distance to cover, so the procession was escorted by a number of motorcycle cops. As a result, we were treated to the surreal experience of running through red lights, waved on by the cops, and powering down the freeway with hazard lights flashing, encouraged by the cops to drive faster to keep up with the rest of the procession. Eddy’s mother said that he would have appreciated all of that.

Finally, we all stood around Eddy’s coffin, physically connected to each other, to say our final farewell. It was a beautiful event, though one none of us ever wanted to happen. We finally got to meet people we’d only ever seen online… Rex Barbatus, Chris Black (who in addition to being a brother of the Unnamed Path, is also one of our remote coven students), and the others. We also cherished rare moments in the company of Tommie and David, and also Tony and Jo-Ann Mierzwicki… even in death, Eddy was still bringing people together.

Eddy, we may not always have agreed with each other on esoteric matters, but we always had respect for each other, and love. You have changed the lives of many, and your legacy will live on – we will honor you among our Ancestors, and you will never be forgotten!

Home from hospital after my own heart attack, with Jo-Ann and Tony Mierzwicki and their daughter Michaela, Sue and Jay Mayer, my wife Linda, and Eddy.

Rev Hyperion Passes Away

I'm sorry to report that our friend Eddy Gutierrez, also known as Rev Hyperion and Doctor E, passed away today from a heart attack. Linda and I send loving thoughts towards his family, initiates, and students (he was the founder and head of the Unnamed Path Tradition).

Eddy was a good friend, one of the first to respond when I had my own heart attack. We have had many an interesting conversation, and we will miss him.